


Always

by Sasshii



Category: AKB48, SKE48
Genre: Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-17
Updated: 2014-01-17
Packaged: 2018-01-09 01:13:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1139681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sasshii/pseuds/Sasshii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"So, let's leave in the lake's boat, and if we get tired of rowing, sleep in my arms, because in a dream, we love each other forever…"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Always

“Are you getting tired?”

She nodded, but continued to row the boat.

I smiled and moved toward her, taking the rows in my hands, “It’s okay, you can rest. I’ll row.”

“I’m afraid, Nanako.” Furuhata Nao suddenly whispered to me, her voice breaking through the previous night’s silence.

I looked at her questioningly, “Afraid of what? Is someone bullying you?”

“No,” She closed her eyes and let out a small laugh before a small frown made it’s way on her face, “Afraid of my feelings.”

“What do you mean?” I asked confused.

She opened her eyes and looked at me, raising her hand she touched my face, “My feelings for you…” She trailed off, a thoughtful look on her face.

“I don’t understand.” I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.

She lowered her hand and I immediately missed the warmth that she gave me, “I think we should stop seeing each other.”

______

“You guys weren’t good for each other anyways.” Furukawa Airi said in between bites of curry.

I sighed into my cup of coffee, “Why does everyone keep saying that?”

“Saying what?” Airi asked as if she had forgotten what she said seconds ago.

“Saying that we’re not good for each other.” I reiterated, setting the cup down after taking a small sip.

“You guys were just too different…” She trailed off, her tone unsure.

I narrowed my eyes at her, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Airi sighed, setting her fork down, “You were way too good for her, Nanako.”

“That doesn’t even make any sense.”

“You know what I mean. She’s not like us.” She lowered her voice and gave me a look, “You parents would never approve of her.”

“Who cares if she’s not like us.” I raised my voice slightly, “I’m sick of hearing that, just because she’s not rich like us doesn’t make her any different.” Airi put a finger to her lips to signal me to be quiet. I looked around and saw that a few eyes in the cafe were on us.

“Your parents don’t see that way.” Airi paused, her gaze softening as it met mine, “I’m just trying to look out for you.”

I stopped, Airi was looking at me sincerely, her eyes kind. “Thank you, Airin.”

Airi nodded and went back to eating her curry, a small smile on her face, “Anytime.”

______

“And then she-” I was cut off mid sentence when the force of another body caused me to fall down to the floor.

“I’m sorry! Are you alright, Nanako?” That voice. I raised my eyes and saw the girl I’ve been longing to see for the longest time.

She reached to help me up, but Airi stopped her, standing in front of me protectively. “Airin, it’s oka-”

“I’ll help her.” Airi stated coldly, turning her back towards Nao and extending her hand to me, “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” I said, grabbing Airi’s hand in mine, my eyes not leaving Nao’s. Airi took notice and scowled at me.

“Nanako.” She whispered to me warningly.

I ignored her and stepped towards Nao. It’s been so long since I’ve last seen her but she hasn’t changed at all. The long hair that framed her face, her pursed lips, and the eyes that held so many secrets from me. Months had passed but I still found myself wanting her as much as I did before.

“Nao, I-”

“I’m sorry! Bye!” She hurriedly said, before turning and running in the opposite direction.

“Wait-” I tried to stop her but was cut off by Airi.

“Just let her go.” She advised, looking at me with hard eyes, “It’s for the better.”

I nodded slowly and turned away from her retreating back, “You’re right.”

Airi smiled at me lightly, grasping my hand tightly with hers. Her hand was warm, but it wasn’t the same warmth that kept me up until 3am nor was it the same warmth that I had longed for. No, but it was a warmth that I could get used to after a while.

______

“You still miss her, don’t you?” Airi questioned, her face holding no expression.

I turned my head to look at her confused, “Who?”

“Nao,” She looked back down at me, sadness in her eyes, “You still think about the breakup, about her.”

I frowned, of course I still thought about Nao, she was the first girl I’ve ever loved. I decided against saying that though and instead went with, “What makes you say that?”

“It’s obvious,” She said, moving her hand to play with a couple strands of my hair, “Even though you’re supposed to be with me, you still think about her.”

“Airin-”

“It’s okay,” She stopped me, “You love her a lot, I know.”

I nodded, there was no point in hiding things from Airi, she was- is my best friend, she could always read me so easily.

“I’m sorry,” She apologized, stopping her movements, “I should’ve encouraged you to go after her, as your friend,” She paused, moving her hand from my hair to my face, “I love you Nanako, enough to tell you to go be with Nao.” She dropped her hand and gave me a small smile before turning around and bringing the covers closer to her form, “Goodnight.”

“I’m sorry, Airin.” I stared at her bare back, the back that always held me up when I didn’t have enough strength to hold myself up. I reached my hand out, but stopped. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t love you.” She didn’t move and I took that as my cue to leave. Gathering all my clothes and quickly redressing myself, I silently left the apartment, throwing one last look at Airi who laid curled under the covers.

______

Shivering, I wrapped my hands around my bare arms, despite it being the beginning of spring, the air was still cold and held remnants of the winter chill. I opened my phone, the artificial light shining in my face. I glanced at the time, 12:03am, 20 minutes have passed since I left the voice mail and still no show. I closed my phone and took a deep breath, deciding that I would wait another 20 minutes before giving up hope and leaving for home.

“You’re an idiot,” A voice said from behind me. I turned around to come face to face with a scowling Nao, “What kind of person asks to meet at a park at 12am?” She brought her jacket tighter around her pajama clad body, “And while it’s still cold out as well.”

I stared up at her, surprised, “You came.”

Her scowl deepened, “Of course, I came. If I didn’t you would’ve stayed out here for God knows how long.” Even though her tone was cold, her words were warm. She sat down next to me, leaving a good couple of inches between us. “What did you want to talk about?”

I looked at her, “You know what I want to talk about.”

She glanced down at her hands sitting in her lap before meeting my eyes, “What do you want to know?”

“What did you mean that night?” The question that’s plagued me ever since. The question that prevented me from moving on completely.

She stayed quiet for a couple of minutes, staring off into the trees in front of us, “I-” She paused, her voice cracking slightly, “I still love you, Nanako.” She looked at me, her eyes honest.

“Then why?”

She looked away again, “Everyone says we’re too different from each other,” She swallowed, “I don’t want to get hurt.”

“But, what about me!” I raised my voice slightly, feeling the anger rise, “What about how I feel? Why does it matter so much about what other people think?”

Nao looked shocked at my outburst, before putting her cool demeanor back on, “I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry,” I softened my voice, “But, don’t think about what other people say.” I reached for her hand, feeling her warmth underneath my fingertips, “I love you Nao, and that’ll never change. No matter how different we are.”

“I love you too, Nanako.” Despite the smile that she threw me, her eyes still looked unsure.

______

“Nanako, you’re home!” My mother greeted, as soon as I walked through the door, shoes not even off.

I smiled up at her, my mood the best that it’s been in months, “Hello, Mama.”

She ushered me into the dining room where my father also sat. Why were the two of them even awake at this time?

“Nanako.” My father greeted me with curt nod.

“Papa.”

“Come, sit.” My mother pushed me into one of the many chairs laid out around the large dining table, “Have you eaten yet?” She called over one of the maids before I could answer.

“I’ve already eaten at Airin’s.”

My mother nodded, before shooing the maid away. She took a seat down next to me, a large smile on her face, “We just got good news.”

I looked over at my father who held the same uninterested look, “What is it?”

She reached over and placed her hands on my shoulders, “You’re getting married.”

I stared at her in confusion, the words not quite processing in my mind “Huh?”

“He’s from a wealthy family like ours, well much more wealthier than ours.” She chuckled softly, “And he’s rather handsome as well, a perfect match for our, Nanako.”

I continued to stare at her, dumbfounded.

“Aren’t you happy, dear?” She noticed the look that I was giving her, “A wealthy husband and you didn’t even have to do any work.”

“Of course, I’m not happy.” I said, finding my words again, “I don’t want to get married to someone I don’t even know.”

My mother waved her hand, as if trying to wave away all of my doubts, “You’ll get to know him once you marry. I’m sure you’ll love him.”

“No,” I said firmly, “I don’t want to marry him.”

“Nanako,” My mother struggled to keep her smile, “What do you mean you don’t want to marry him? He’s wealthy, he’ll be able to support you.”

“I can support myself.” I frowned, “I don’t want to marry him.”

“Nanako,” She repeated, “Why?”

“I’m with someone else.”

“Oh!” The smile was back on my mother’s face, “Is he wealthy as well? Well, I doubt he would be as wealthy as the man we picked out, but that shouldn’t be much of a problem.”

I looked down at the table, “I’m with a girl.”

My mother looked at me in complete shock before quickly regaining her composure, “So, anyways, the wedding date is set to be in June.” She went on as if I hadn’t mentioned seeing anyone at all.

“I’m not going to marry him.” I stated again.

“I’m not quite sure what the theme is going to be, but I’ll ask around for some ideas.” She continued her babble.

“I’m not going to marry him,” I raised my voice and slammed my hand on the table, “I love her.”

That stopped her babbling as she once again turned to me in shock, “You are going to marry him, Nanako. Please.” She looked over desperately at my father, who looked as if he was barely listening to the conversation at all. “Dear, please tell your daughter the mistake that she’s making.”

“You’re going to marry him, Nanako. As long as you’re our daughter, you’re going to marry him.” He said, his voice firm.

“But, Papa-” I tried to plead, but he raised his hand to stop me.

“Nanako.” He said warningly.

I lowered my head, feeling the tears gather up in my eyes. I tried to blink them away and clenched my teeth together tightly.

My mother clapped her hands next to me in joy, “So it’s settled then. You’ll marry in June. I’m so happy.” With every word that escaped from her mouth, I found myself wanting to slap her more and more.

“Don’t look so down, dear.” She said, placing a hand on my shoulder as if trying to comfort me, “You’ll end up loving him, you’ll see. Then you’ll be thanking me.”

______

“Nanako?”

“Hm?” I hummed in response, setting the rows down for a break, the burning in my arms starting to get to me.

Nao leaned against me and I wrapped my arm around her waist, a small smile playing on my face, “Do you think we’ll be happy wherever we go?”

“As long as I’m with you, I’ll be happy.” I muttered, slipping a small capsule into her hands before slipping a similar one into my mouth.

______

“Why have you been acting so weird lately.” Nao questioned, looking up at me. The two of us were currently, sprawled out on her small bed, a textbook in front of us.

I looked back at her, “What do you mean?”

“You haven’t been the same since we got back together.” She looked down at her lap, a sad smile on her face, “Do you regret it?”

“No! Of course not!” I denied, taking her hand into mine, “I would never.”

“Maybe, I’m just imagining it then…” She trailed off, focusing her attention back onto the textbook.

“Well,” I paused, and shook my head. I had to tell her. This was something that she needed to know. “There is something that I wanted to tell you.”

Her attention was back on me as soon as the words left my mouth, she motioned for me to continue. “I’m…I’m getting married.”

“You’re what?!” She looked furious, and I wouldn’t blame her. It’s not everyday your girlfriend tells you you’re getting married to someone else.

“My parents arranged it.”

“When?” She asked, her voice cracking at the end.

“In June.”

“And what are you going to do?” Her tone cold, eyes not meeting mine.

“They told me I had to marry him or else I wouldn’t be their daughter anymore.”

“I meant about me. What are you going to do about me, Nanako?”

I looked down at our intertwined hands. I couldn’t live without Nao in my life. She meant too much to me. Without her, I didn’t even want to think about it. “Let’s run away together.”

“What?” She asked as if she didn’t hear me, despite my words being perfectly.

“I said, let’s run away together.” I repeated anyways, “Somewhere where it’ll only be the two of us. Where we can be together and be happy.”

She stayed quite for a bit before giving her answer, “Okay,” She squeezed my hand, “I trust you.”

______

Furukawa Airi was on her way back to her apartment, when she noticed a letter sticking out of her mailbox. She looked at it curiously, it was out of the ordinary that she received mail. She picked it up and stared at it. ‘Airin’ was all that was written on it, Airi recognized the handwriting immediately. She shook her head, a small smile on her face. Why was she sending her mail when she could just text her?

She opened the envelope, taking out the plain white paper and quickly scanning it’s contents. “Nanako.” She whispered, her hand covering her open mouth, the paper dropping to the concrete floor.

Airin,

I followed your advice and went back after Nao. The two of us got back together and I’ve never been happier. The feelings that I have for her are…something unexplainable. I feel that if I tried to explain it, I would just end up soiling it with my words. Thank you Airin, for telling me to go after her. My parents however want me to get married to someone else. I can’t betray my heart, Airin, I’m sure you’re someone who knows that well enough to understand. I’ve always wanted to make my parents proud of me, but this is something that I can not will myself to do. The two of us are running away together, somewhere far, far away from here, I won’t be coming back again. Please, don’t try to follow me. I hope you understand why I couldn’t come say goodbye to you in person. I know this is something that you wouldn’t of have supported. I’m sorry, Airin. I’m sorry for not giving you the love that you deserve, and I’m sorry for doing this. You’re one of the closest friends I’ve ever had, Airin, and I’ll always cherish that. Who knows where I would be without you. I’ll always be thankful to you. I love you.

Goodbye,

Nanako.

Airi gathered herself and quickly pulled out her phone, dialing the number she already knew by heart. The phone rang a couple of times before going to the voice mail. She swore under her breath and called again, heart pounding against her chest. Nanako’s made a lot of dumb choices in the past, but this had to be one of the dumbest. Voice mail again. Airin closed her phone, giving up on trying to reach the girl’s phone and ran towards Nanako’ house instead.

______

“Look at the sunset.” Nao pointed, a serene smile on her face, “It’s pretty, isn’t it?”

I nodded in agreement, setting the rows down again. I couldn’t muster the strength in me anymore to continue rowing. The boat drifted, the waves underneath lulling my eyes closed. I struggled to keep them open.

______

Airi banged against the door of Nanako’s house frantically. Even though it was relatively late at night, she knew her parents would be home by now. She knocked again, not getting an answer. Finally after a few minutes, the door opened to reveal Nanako’s mother in pajamas, rubbing the sleep away from her eyes. “Airin?” She asked, confused, “What is it?”

“Is Nanako home?” She asked, the words rushing out of her mouth.

“Nanako?” She looked around in thought, “Nanako, said she was going to go stay with you tonight.”

Airi slammed a fist against the side of the doorway, before collapsing in front of the older women, sobs racking through her small frame.

“A-Airi,” Nanako’s mother questioned, not knowing what to do, “Are you alright? What’s wrong?”

“She’s gone,” She wailed over and over again, “Nanako.”

______

“I’ll always love you, always.” I mumbled, pressing a light kiss to the side of her head.

“Always?” She whimpered, turning in my arms, her eyes boring into mine.

“Always.” I confirmed, entwining our fingers together and closing my eyes, feeling her shallow breathing against my chest, before letting the sleep overtake me.


End file.
